Family Moments

Flatulence, or a Blog Post about Farts.



There are those that think farts are funny and those who don’t.  My family falls in the aforementioned, we think boombies are generally hilarious so if you don’t want to read more regarding my thoughts on flatulence stop reading right now.

Mike was loading his car with his hockey gear Sunday morning and as he did so, he was passing loud rumbling sounds from his butt. He didn’t think much of it, as this is the norm for him.  Everybody does it.  It’s healthy. It’s a part of life.   As he turned around he realized the neighbours were standing in their driveway.

Everyone has stories about passing gas. When I was pregnant with my first my body betrayed me with timing and I let one go in front of my boss and a few coworkers. I was too embarrassed to even excuse myself, and braced myself for the inevitable harassment. As my boss walked away my coworkers started to titter and make fun of him thinking it was him who did it. I never confessed, and for as long as I was working with this company they laughed about it.

When my son Ben was in grade one he shared that I had ‘farted on his head’ for show and tell, I found this out by being descended upon by first graders demanding to know if it was true. ‘Did I really fart on Ben’s head?’  It was true, and I had completely forgotten. I had been going upstairs, he was behind me and well, I don’t need to go into details.  He made a dramatic display of pretending to fall down the stairs. Ironic that he’s grown up to study theatre. This is the same kid who drew a picture of his Dad naked, the teacher told him we draw people with their clothes on at school.  At least when he drew me the only offence was that he drew me with a moustache.  So, if you’re keeping track his teacher now thinks that we are nudists with healthy bodily functions.

When Mike and I were first together as a couple, the early days when you still spoon when you go to sleep.  I was curled up against him, my bum nestled in his stomach, his arm draped across my hip, when I let one go.  I was bouncing between mortification and giggling, when he said, ‘You’re so pretty’

So in this house we think farts are funny and no one is above saying, pull my finger.


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About Melinda

Navigating life as an over 50 Goddess. Empty nester, twice married, once divorced, Mom, Stepmom, Miniature Dachshund owner, Post Menopausal, Canadian, all with a little humour and learning that When I Knew Better, I Did Better. I hope.
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